Here I am in SECU and I have the sense that I have fallen for a girl that won't disband her past life. I worry for her and am worried that the drug ice will get in the way of us being a good couple. I worry that she does not see that her actions of seeing other males effects me and it does she is my wish, it is just I hope I don't come second to her in choosing a pathway to success. I hope that she has my feelings at heart and does not betray me in any way. Anyway, she has seen other men whilst I have been locked up I just hope I can believe her and that she is being loyal to me and that she is not sleeping around. I just worry for she is sexy and I have a feeling is a sex maniac aka a nympho. Tho what can I do - nothing. I don't want to get in the way of her having fun and enjoying herself I just am hurt that I was not enough to be the only man in her life. I just wonder if she is telling me the truth and that she is not sleeping around tho if she is my bad luck I made a poor choice, in believing in someone that is disloyal. I hope to GOD that she is just mine and only mine tho I think I am asking too much. She has slept with countless men and at least I have counted my courtships, she is my world I just think I will loose her for not being strong in faith. I want to believe that she is honest and that she tells me the truth tho ice (shardheads) are a dangerous bunch and are not to be trusted even tho I trust that she is there for me and will always be there or here for me if I really need her help. She is one of my supports that keep me going day by day, it is just this ice use will consume her if she does not stop use now. I fear I will loose her to her using and not thinking straight as in come straight home I've already been hurt by her when she went on a joyride to visit someone in jail. So the initial damage has been done to my trust just I believe that she needs support and someone to care for her just I think if she continues to see other men then I'm going to look elsewhere for a life partner for I can not deal with the emotion that is caused when I learn that she spends time with other men. I hope that I will believe her and that I have nothing to worry about tho I see how ice affects a human and also how it renders them vulnerable to being played. Kim if you are reading this I hope you understand that I am here for you and I do love you I care about you I do not want to see you lost to the drugs eg ice the dope is manageable tho I fear you will not be there for me 100% if you are using and seeing other men/boys. I fear too much and I hope that this fear subsides tho I worry I succumb to the lies of the adultery if that is that it is taking place. I want to believe that it is not happening tho I am extremely paranoid without the fact being that you are chilling with them. I still love you Kimberley just I am scared that you will be like me and adulterate when high on gear. It is a fact you get horny when you partake in drug use I just hope you are strong willed and that you won't cheat me of a deserving wife which you are when you are straight and clean off drugs. I can not tell you what to do and I can not force you to do anything I can only hope that you will be there for me when I need you like today at 4pm tho I may be asking too much if that is not what you want to do. I pray that you find your feet girl and that you defeat the drug demons in your presence though my fear is strong and strong for reason. I just hope light can guide me and you to a pretty picture and also that of a good life. I am yours still just know I worry and and worried for you and your safety. I do not want you getting a disease or bad temperament I love you Kim and I want to be by your side. You just worry me girl a lot and only you can change your ways to stop that worry or I have to retreat which I do not want to do for time with you is pleasant and fun always and I do not want to loose you to these other men and drugs you ingest. I have fitness exercise group in 27mins so I best be winding this up though I will conclude with I love you Kim and I love all the girls that have touched my soul though I am giving my loyalties to only you Kim I will not hook up with another person whilst I am seeing you to save your heart being broken for you saved me from darkness when I got your msg. You just messaged then, I just replied saying I am doing a journal blog so I am fully honest with you Kim I hope you are the same in return I am pretty sure you are my baby just plz don't hurt me via above stated I love you Kim and I think I always will now that I have known you and been in union with you, I just scared of loosing you. Sorry if this post disinterests you though it is how I am feeling at the present time and is a direct feed of my thoughts and feelings as of this point in time.

ily ehhh ketchyahsszz