Post 44

Post 44

Here I am after 7 days after last using illicits.. I tried my best tho which ive been calling anxiety and nervousa is really proberly shard withdrawal or side effect that renders a ex user fucked and retarded as like when u don't know if to shit or piss sit or stand move forward or backward or sideways, literally all u can do ive found is lay on ur bed in fewtal position praying for the feeling to stop its like pain with no source or wound or point of pain creation ... I meditated and came to knowledge its a swelled bubble like section in a brain vain that when aggregated or if fear sets in or worry the stretched wall of the brain vain vessel pulseates and send warning signals all over the nervous system which gives the sensation of öh fuck I'm gonna die, something really bads gonna happen.." tho I have found a way to stop it sometimes and that's to opt for an olanzapine apo and valium tho the most important thing u need to reduce the fucked feeling is to have ur feet tickled by a girl (coz I'm a sexist male!) and about twenty plus minutes of feet tickling does alleviate the horrible sensation the anxiety which I call.. its the only way to stop the feeling other than using shard which recalibrates me and stops the bad feeling so I'm in a fucked position, agree?!

Post 44 Part 2

Post 43

Here I am I was told I'll be out soon tho now it's gonna be at least another week. This Friday I meet MST worker and then Wednesday 18th of May 2016 is the family meeting where I'll be told an exact discharge date which could be that week or the next.  I have a mates 30th birthday on Saturday though I'm not sure if I'll be let out for the night to visit and attend I hope I'm allowed though it's a close friend and or rival competitor in the bizo game not really as such.  Anyway I'm waiting for overnight leave again I just want to get out of this place it's been too long. My new case worker is called Phillipa so I wonder if I've met her before or if she's completely new.  Kimberley is overseas at the moment I will be out by the time she gets back. I hope she's ok and nothing's wrong. I am still in secu may 3rd was five months and today it's been an extra week and a day.  I need leave for Saturday night and also that morning.  Sat and Sunday is all I need tho I'd want Saturday to Tuesday which would be better, like it would happen tho.  Though I will attempt to ask tomoz. 

Also I need to go threw all my boxes and find which I'll keep and which I'll sell I don't know which I'll separate accordingly. I'm listening to I won't let u down by hilltop hoods good song. Reminds me of Sarah my ex baby wonder if I'll ever see her again. I hope she has a good life free of problems she was the best girlfriend when I was with her.  I love u still Sarah Joan Davis-Robinson!

Peace Out!
Dande 'n on g

Post 42

Post 42

Back in the Ward from overnight leave and I don't feel too good I feel sick like I'm gonna Chuck.. 

Just was at Kimberley's after being at Doug's joint haveing some Turk's spent the rest of the day at home had about two synth ducks fucked me up proberly a contributor to why I feel crook. 

My parents are away for two weeks and I hope I locked the house up I'm a ducking idiot if I didn't! 

I don't feel too well so I'm gonna leave it there.

P.S. I tryed to contact Sarah just before because I miss her she was a big part of my life I still love her deep down.

Alright signing out DAN D

Post 41 - Anxiety Thursday

Heya
So I get anxiety today at 5:29pm because didn't know where my next smoke is coming from that and I consumed 2,920ml of green V which is almost six times the recommended limit fuck was I fucked that is until I got hold of my ex my friend for life Kimberley who helped me with some ciggys and also one of her personal apoes thank god for her thank u Kimberley u are a god send.  Then when I got back in the ward I had my night meds and prn of zyprexa which that and crossed legged on the bed assisted to me feeling now..  ok..  anyway thought I'd post today that I had anxiety for the first time since last injection the 21st and 22nd I think may be wrong though though it has been two weeks since I had anxiety it's the depot mixing with the v I suspect just hope it's not gonna happen again anytime soon. I must make sure I had constant supply of cigarettes and cut back on the V intake I'm getting fat Az. Anyway enough of that I have a meeting soon for my family and to setup a discharge plan which better mean I'm out soon it's already been 4months don't want it being six/halfayear! Admitted on the 3rd of December 2015 still her today 7th of April 2016 it's been too long I want out already anyway have a good one reader tomorrow is a new day god bless

Ehhhh ketchyah
DANDE

Post 40

Here I am bored shitless and no one is picking up their phones fuck this is annoying at least I don't have anxiety at all since last Tuesday!  That's a win for me!  Dande!

Post 39

here i am bored secu is a shithole i donot want to be here anymore i want to go away from this place go back to my old area where its fun fuck u secu im done with u!

Post 38

Post 38

ive been listening to "brave little toaster - worthless" pritty nogalstic song catchy as, anyway im bored as in the ward might miss out on my next leave because i was late coming back from my hour leave. i miss Kim and i want to see Taylor soon just have to wait till shes ready. There was talks of discharge when i last spoke to the doctors so thats a good sign,and my parents said theyll take me back instead of renting. thats enough information for one post ill catch yous later! Averdeci ekhh ketchyahzz!! 

Post 37

Post 37 - Thinking about Speed

Here I am a Melbournian thinking about living in Speed northwest Victoria a fairwhile away I want to buy a house up there I will with the money I've saved and with help from a loan which I'll fully service meaning pay interest on!  I did the figures and relying on three people to continue paying their fortnightly interest I'll be able to live out in Speed and pay off the house!  It will be an interesting four years!  I want to purchase the house for one safeguard me against homelessness and also provide a means to recieve additional income.  I have good expectations of this venture I just need the 20k homeloan and for them to sell at 30k and also the additional funds needed to start up the colony.  I have high hopes of living it comphortably and owning my own home it is a opportunity not to be missed! I need my parents to agree and support my decision as it is the only way I see it happening I should be able to do it I've budgeted to smoke 40cigs a day and have a slab of coke a day and have nothing else except live off the rent of someone else boarding with me I can comphortably live out there if I do a legit manifestation of intellect.  Anyway here is the first post of my intention to move up to Speed. The house is a shanty though could prosper goodly. I have high hopes I'll say again and can't wait to finally own my own home!  Let's just wait and see which happens and that that does not. I can't wait!!!!!!!

Repeat I can't wait to be out of secu and in my own house!

Post 36 - Valentines Day 2016

Post 36

Today is Valentines Day and I had a Valentine for the first part of the day! She was a girl named Kimberley who I have already wrote about on this blog though at the end of the date we agreed to stop seeing each other for we are too different in our expectations and ideals we hold for who the partner should behave or act. This came easy though as the day progressed it became more hurtful as the day went on. She went and chilled with another male and I was left scrolling facebook looking for someone to share the day with though there was nobody. I was alone. I am alone. Well Shit could be worse I could be an amputee or a junkie. So I have to look on the bright side of things the sun is still shining and I have one break left to do what ever I want within the confinement of the Dandenong Cleeland St Precinct. I hope life gets better soon. I just don't want the bad emotions to take hold of my being. I want a girlfriend soon. I can not wait around and let my times be passed. I need someone who will look up to me and admire me that much that I am their exclusive because for the last relationship I was not the only boy she was seeing even if I was the only sexual partner she had I could not handle the frequency she had of seeing other males especially when she would go out at night with them. I want a girlfriend that is mine only and not shared with anyone else. This maybe hard to find in this day and age. I hope I find one though. Kim you meant the world to me and now I must revolve around other things like back to daily V drinks and maybe $6.90 pizza and drink deals!

Life is hard though secu makes it harder I want free time though it is gobbled up by staying here in this place not to mention the finance it gobbles up ($670.04c per fortnight!) I hope I am out of here soon. I have a list of things I could be doing with my time and also excuses to get more leave which is good. Lucky I brainstormed the other night ;) anyway life is swell when you are a human obeying GOD's LAW.

I am going to finish up with an ehhh keytchyah and Glad I metchyah Kimberley and other out there because you made my life worth living thank you. AND thank you to my family who have been somewhat supportive during this whole process of trying to reconfigure my life and brain and behavior. SECU is a Shit Environment Can't Use

Peace Out !

DANDE

Post 35

Post 35

Here is the next post I've done since the last one. I have been doing not much stuff though I ask you the reader is there anything for me to do in Melbourne or in Dandenong that would fill in my time or grant me more leaves. I have only a few things that I can think of that I can do that are legitimate.

Here is a list of things that I have come up with that I can ask for more leave for:

* Library Leave = Has already been granted once per week for up to 2 hours once per week!

* Pool Leave = Haven't asked yet though has been suggested by the treating team consultants!

* Movie Leave = I have to ask if I can go out on this leave once a week though will cost $10 a movie!

* Course Leave = I will have to enroll into a course first, though I am thinking of doing "YEAR 13"!

* Market Leave = I am thinking of setting up a market stall at Dandenong Market or at the Caribbean.

* Plaza Leave = This I don't know if it will count as I already am asking for Movie Leave at the Plaza

* Walking Leave = This is something I just thought up then which could grant me an hour of leave!

* Games Workshop Leave = This is something dug up from my past it's a store at Eastland Ringwood

* Trainride/Trainsurfing Leave = This is something I do when I am free or experience freedom in life

* Volunteering Leave = This is a maybe would do, maybe at Ferntree Gully Salvo's OpShop-a might!

* Work Leave = If I managed to get a job I would ask for leave to be able to participate in work/a job.

* Freedom Leave = Just a blank leave to leave up to me how I spend my time out side the ward/secu!!

THat is all I can think of at the moment though I will think of more later hopefully though I don't know if I can I've brainstormed those in the past 20minutes I have been sitting at this computer! I hope I can get extra leave granted by next meeting and then I will have boosted morale which is not that high at the moment due to imprisonment on the ward. I do get the 4 smokeos a day and an extra one hour freedom leave a day as well as overnight leave once per week which is good as well as the 2hr per week Library Leave which I have already used this week on the Thursday I think. Anyway, reader I hope this has been insightful for you to read about my life and current position and situation just I hope that this SECU stay is not a long one it will be 3 months as of March 3rd as I have been locked up in here since December 3rd 2015.

Not much more to write just have a nice day and night and I hope to be free asap as soon as poss!

Averdeci Ehhhhh Ketchyah!!!

DANDE

9:56am

13/2/2016

Post 34

How a boring day what is there to do with all my time who is there to see and there has to be something to fill my time I am bored so much and without seeing my girlfriend I am lost.  I wonder if there is anything that this world can offer to erase ones boredom. I need something to do I am left to my own devices and are bored shitless. There is nothing one can do without money except loiter or go for walks or run or swim in the bay or ocean or park facility.  I can not seem to find anything that pleases me and that could be defined as a hobby I'm helpless.

Help me help myself -- is my quote

How can this misery be stopped how can I save my soul. Is it true I've sold my sole soul for gifts of chaos?  Jesus I am mad to think Warhammer games workshop religion actually exists in this dominion of earth and dimension of reality.  I can't use the word what though I had too unfortuately at the start of the post shame on me.  There are some pritty girls that venture past the hospital I find though I have a girlfriend and it is sin to want their body's and to consumate with such vessels, while I already have a sexual and emotional binding partner.  I went to see her before just near 11 and she told me to go away because she was sleeping.  I doubt she wants to face today because it is today she offically lost her licence so I can understand why she wants to continue to sleep.  I guess she doesn't want me that much or is not ready for a relationship,  I wonder also how am I going to make her valentines day speshill?  And also will we make it to Valentines Day as a couple as I feel someone else needs me or it is I need them though someone unforseen is in the loading stage of my dreamlike reality I wonder who it could be??

That seems enough from me today I'll write more another day though I hope the reader is content with this content for readership.  Anyway Averdeci ehhhhhhhh Ketchyahszzz

Post 33

Post 33

Here I am writing after a few days not writing up anything. I have been good though had a way of depression the other night because I was stressing over my girlfriend and also just hating SECU. I am going on leave today for over night and that should be fun! I can't wait to meet back up with Kimberley and have some time together it drives me crazy how I can only see her for half the day due to being locked up in SECU. What to write I did a freestyle rap rhyme the other day on the 2 month mark of quitting everything bar V and ciggys, it didn't sound too bad I tried to upload it so people could listen to it though it didn't allow me too, it wouldn't upload.

I got not much to say these days other than I am hating SECU and want the fuck out it is a shit hole a-stat. I will write about the APO units that I keep seeing every white van is an APO VAN an APO UNIT. It is madness I tell you so. "Stamp everything APO!" It is crazy though extremely funny when your going threw psychosis. Anyway there is an APO NET and there is APO TEX and the APO WEBs that get fired from spiritual satelites. "Damn it I've been hit by a APOweb", then fear sets in. 

Anyway it is all crazy I will stop giving details of what is mad.

Though there are these entities:

APO NEEDLAR

APO NEEDLER

APO NEEDER

APO KNEADER
APO KNEELER
APO KNEENAH
APO NEEDNAH
APO RECIEVER
APO DECIEVER
APO BELIEVER
APO BIEBERLAR
APO BUYYOUROWNSHIT
APO KEEPS GOING ON AND ON!

That's enough from me today check my facebook history for all the original APO UNITS I discovered, its a classic.

AVERDECI

EHH KETCHYAH

DANDE

Here is a song I did today 2 months off all drugs except V and ciggys!

Post 31

Here is Post 31 I am here in SECU after having overnight leave and seeing my girlfriend Kim, I have had an alright day and good night last night spent a lot of it up trying to plan getting a house in Selby. All I need is a bank to lend me a pensioner $310,000.00 and I could afford it most definitely. Though I doubt there will be a lender willing to lend the money which is a pity!


I have been doing my banking as well for interest rates the accounts I follow are the following:


RAMS SMART SAVER 3.40%pa


UBANK USAVER ULTRA = 3.37%pa
UBANK USAVER REACH = 2.81%pa
UBANK USAVER = 2.31%pa


CBA GOAL SAVER = 2.80%pa
CBA NETBANK SAVER 1.80%pa


NAB iSAVER 1.80%pa


ANZ ONLINE SAVER 1.80%pa


MEBANK ONLINE SAVER 2.00%pa


BANKVIC S7 2.00%pa
BANKVIC S8 2.85%pa


BANKWEST REGULAR SAVER 3.05%pa
BANKWEST TELENET SAVER 2.00%pa


Though all this does not compare to loaning a friend $1000 and charging $10 per fortnight! (26%pa)

Post 30 - A Milestoned

Here I am at SECU and I am happy because I only just realized I have a overnight leave once a week! So tonight I am going to my parents house for the night and hopefully Kim comes to stay too! Anyway it is perfect smoking weather though still not yet can I smoke devenshire teas, the future is good!. Got not much to write about today just going to go out on leave soon so excited about that~!

ehh ketchyah!!!

DANDE

Post 29

Here I am and it is the morning at SECU I had breakfast and now I am waiting for smokeo break so I can go visit Kim, I am waiting patiently and it is boring as in SECU. I have had breakfast and and extra milk though still want a ciggy already and I got to wait till 9am to be let out. Anyway still waking up I got to write more later though now I don't have much to write. I need to think of something though I am out of ideas, I better write later as I can not think of anything now so yeah I'll ehh ketchyahs double deutche on the singles.....

ehhh ketchyah

written by

DANDE  

Post 28

Post 28

The post for how old I am. Here I am and I have just been chilling at Kim's house, I got back late from the smokeo + hour leave by 15/17 mins though I got in ok. I hope I can go out on leave again for another hour later I have to try and see. I did a consolidation of my finances and came to the conclusion that of 65 people oweing me money I am owed a total of $50,352.02 which is a ridiculous amount of money, enough to buy this property up in Walpeup Victoria. and I would have $352.02 left over not including the stamp duty and transfer fees and also rates the council rates that would need to be paid. Though regardless it is a lot of money owed to me for the 12 years of debts that have been unpaid!. What else I deposited one or two in the bank ;) though that is personal business. I wonder what is happening today I am pissed off that Sarah promised me to pay some money off debt and at least send me $38 which she failed to do after I saved her arse and got her rego paid, what a bitch!

In other news I am getting this debt list printed out and going to assign another document with all the contact information and addresses of the to be victims of a reimbursement a re-I-burst-out!! Anyway I don't come down with the iron fist so no one respects me or fears the reprecussions of not paying me back the dogs. Anyway thank you to those that have paid me back and fuck u to the ones that continue to fail to make repayments! Those I have loss contact with well you have an excuse though others what the fuck you are leeching crumbs. Enough said.

Well today should be a good day I feel good I just need to make arrangements to chase up this money I could own a property with what is owed, this is bullshit!!

I hope the reader is having a good day and that there is a good fortune awaiting them, you. I hope the weather stays good and doesn't get too hot for those out in the heat, don't want you to get heat stroke or anything like sunburn or melanomas.

I am going to finish up there and say hope you have a pleasant evening and afternoon, I look forward to seeing a spike in page visits. I managed to get 70+ page visits last night from my facebookians I am guessing. Hope the day is a good one it has been good for me so far, got to keep the good times flowing!

ehhhhhHHHHHH KetchyahHszzz

from

DANDE   

Post 27 - Sewerslide$

Post 27

Here I am back in SECU after my first fight with my girlfriend it was on the issue of her.. I don't want to write about it because it is too slanderistic so I'll stop right now. Basically it was my fault for bringing into light certain issues that are present. I expressed how I felt and in turn it was received well just started a temperament. I am sorry Kim if u read this, I am sorry I doubt you sometimes. I am sorry I am not everything I need to be to conquer what we discussed.

Anyway, back to me and this blog of my life in SECU the shit hole it is, not saying the staff are shit just the setup is shit it is wasteing my life away worse than on shard I might as well be using if I am to stay in this fucken shit hole of a facility, psych rehab!

I am going to kill people I think when I get out or on leave or inside this fucken SHIT HOLE!!!!!

Anyway on the brighter side of information passing to the masses I am wondering what is life going to be like on the outside once I get my licence back when ever that will fucking happen. I need to be chilled out no FLEXI CARE HD just I need a PRN of Valium I think to ease my anger for institution!

I WILL KILL U U BITCH THAT SET THIS SHIT HOLE UP FOR ME! EITHER I DO THAT OR I AM GIVING YOU FLOWERS TO TRANQ YOU TO PUT YOU IN A BOOT OF A CAR AND TORCH IT!!!!

Enough out lash, I really should refrain from writing horror films that parallel real life. I need some entertainment or something to ease my soul. Devenshire Teas would be perfect I am not going to quit for life I am career smoker and that is my career so I am loyal to the game and loyal to me deleebees!

Life is good though I suffer from worry of my significant other and her lifestyle which may claim her if it hasn't already. I want to go up north and build a robot if I am able to using existing appliances. It will be challenging and fun I can not wait!

Life is sweet when you have an iron rod (a can of V) and a burning ember on a lit cigarette in both hands, sweet enough to rule the world maybe if prophecy is correct, to you intellectuals out there! I can not be fucked with this SECU shit it is wasteing my life it is 1st shitter than factory work at least there you can quit the job and walk out fucking it up for the company employing the shift of labour, with SECU your trapped and I especially trapped because if I abscond there is the digital tag transmitter lodged in the rear of my skull which they successfully implanted back in June 2015 the cunts just before my birthday at least I was an official cyborg @ 27 years old!

I hate you cunts that tailor my life to your likeing you will live a hellish existence once I rise to power or my decendant does in the not too distant future, talking still a decade away though I am certain I will fuck your life up for eternity!

Peace Out mother fuckers and good night I may write another post later if I can be fucked and not drugged up on meds because I am going to ask for a PRN (Please Right Now) of Diazepam aka Valium, my sweetheart, well the chemical one of ones. My true sweetheart is the current girl I am in love with and she knows who it is and the ones of past and future you too are my sweethearts just I stick by my girl these days for I can not be a adulterist for it will render me diseased and illmoral.

Hope you have a nice life reader for you are interested in my works and my life and I thank you for such interest. If this blog was a financial account the text letters I write are your payment of credit interest and it will be added too daily if I remember to do so. Just pray I don't go deleteing posts then that period is one of overdraft and you are a liability and the text disappears..........

on the deutsche doubles trippells on the singles ehhhhh ketchyah my friend!

love from

the 44 the 4114

DANDE DAN DAWSON

Post 26

Here I am and I am writing the Post 26.

Post 26 I wonder how many readers there are on this blog, I had a spike in page visits by other people whom I still don't know who is viewing my blog all the data I get is numbers of page visits not individual IP addresses or names of visitors.

Kim came in and chilled with me during visiting hours the 430-530 slot and I am hopefully chilling with her for my last smoke break today tonight. I have to say I am very pleased with Kim when she goes out of her comphort zone and comes chills with me. I also went on a second leave today and visited Kim's friend Allan whom I played chess against and won 2:0 so that was a good set by me very close games he is a good chess player a challenge which was mentally stimulating. I have to play him again to see if he can beat me at chess. Apparently he hadn't played in seven years, full on.

Anyway now I relies that no human on the gear can put another human being before their use I couldn't do it for Sarah and I think my girlfriend can not do it for me. It would be nice if we couldn't get enough of each other though the reality is undefined for my girlfriend says she loves me and cares about and I believe though she can't turn down an invite to get on the shit which breaks my heart the one that is not in my chest anymore. I guess I can not do anything about it because the gear is too powerful for those with mental illness.

I am still going to abstain from drug use even though I feel I want to use because life is shit off drugs if you do not have someone u like loving you. It sounds more depressing than it really is though maybe it is actually more depressing then it sounds just because I am so strong now emotionally because I have been hurt and scared in ways not all civilians endure. I am not weak at the moment I am strong only because I was shown a love that was pure and not toxic though even if it comes and goes. I am scared for my girlfriend because she is right when she says trippy shit though I can see from the people that are threatened by such talks and are afraid that she could get flagged and persecuted, for being a nu JJeW an unwell. I should wrap it up there because I need to eat dinner. So till next time Averideci,

EHHHHHH KETCH YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DANDE

Post 25

Here I am back at SECU after seeing my darling Kim for half an hour and in that time the diazepam kicked in and with the fatty oils of macas it created a drunk effect which I liked very much, it could have been the high sugared chocolate frappe which I bought for Kim, and no she still doesn't qualify for being a gold digger, she pays me back!

Anyway how's things for you, the reader I would like to know. Please leave a comment on a post because I currently have visitors to my blog at least one every day though I have yet to receive some feedback on how the blog is going, like is it have the content that is interesting to read or is it just a waste of my time, being that I am not entertaining anyone for my personality according to the personality test called 16 personalities said that I am an entertainer due to my responses and selection of answers on the multiple choice test that I underwent to get a better understanding of myself. It seemed to be correct just I don't know if it is 100% accurate though it was on a generalization a quite good evaluation of me. I recommend all of you to search up "The 16 Personality Test" and do the multiple choice answers to see what sort of personality you do possess.

Anyhoo, it breaking news my anxiety has subsided and I feel quite good very good at the moment I am happy Sarah has found a partner and is in union with someone it makes me feel good that someone is able to make her feel good and not her by herself in misery without me. With me I was making her miserable though now she is free of me and she is happy I hope in her new life. On the other side of the coin I have gotten myself a new partner in life and she is wonderful making my recovery from ice use very successful and is a support definitely good for me and is making the days fly by and makes the stay here at SECU bareable. I just hope we don't start fighting like how me and Sarah used too because then it will turn toxic and I believe it is far from such and touching her and her touching me is the best feeling I have felt since the early days of me and Sarahs relationship. I could say I am in love again. Which I thought may have been impossible though it has become a reality which I get to live.

In the bad of life there is a demon presence in my body though I hope I can subdue it so there is no outbreak and infectious disease. Just need to pray to GOD that I can overcome the demons that dwelith inside my temple.

In later news we have the sun shining and the days are warm, heading into the twenty years ago fire season that created the loss of many houses and homes that dwelled the community which my parents live in and I too will be resideing once I get discharged from this shit hole called SECU. It is shit not so much due to staff though to policy that suggested that no smoking was to happen on and in the facility it has hindered my progress and only strained my lungs as I chaff down way too many smokes when I am allowed out to make up the nicotine and other 40,000 chemicals I am addicted too, the smoke it therapeutic and makes me feel good regardless of the health implications I believe that smokeing promotes good moral and eval for the population that smoke. Think back in the trench days of WW1 and WW2 as well as Gulf Wars and Islamic Opposition Wars the packet of smokes to the soldier is a god send and is always appraised and appreciated hundred fold and is always a number one morale booster for those such in the thick of it, meaning those at pressure and threat of a grenade exploding and killing them or bullets wizzing past overhead those soldiers need those smokes unless on night black ops for the ember gives away positions to the enemy. Though in a cupped hand those tokes are brilliant and are much so satisfying to the inhaler.

"Don't exhale those that exhale loose 70% of there smoke!" -quote from Mick Nolan off the Big Lez Show "Yeah nah nah mate!"

Funny shit I advise all to watch as many episodes of the BIG LEZ SHOW on youtube as they are a funny creation of some ozzie paint bmp file animators silk kunts silkaz brah as rossco put it! Anyway this has been a long post I should finish it there and sign out though can't unless I finish with a double ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ketchyahszz

signing out

from

DANDE  

Post 24

Here I am and I feel smashed due to diazapam and a maccas burger as well as suspect alcholic frapp fucking crap from macas and also because im love drunk on seeing my bub. Im late to go back in though should be fine if I leave soon because Im on Kim's verandah where I like to sit and injoi the feeling of the Tirant household I love this place I hope I date Kim for a long time because she allowed me to feel love again after having loved Sarah who I thought I'd never stop loving... Kim is my love now and I am now in the car heading back to SECU the hell hole. peace out mutha fuckers im signing out

DANDE

Post 23

Here I am writting another blog about whats happening ive spent the afternoon with kim and brett visited at lunch time and gave me some cds to listen to and watch ive ripped all the cds bar one and haven't watched the movies yet tho will soon i got to get more corn chips to watch the movies with so i can munch away and watch the computer screen play the movie. Anyway it was good Kim came into the ward which is a big thing for her and that went alright fairly good, I bidded on more stuff on eBay and also bought another pyramid so she could have one I need to make some music soon or do something creative I just did a drawing with pens Kim lent to me Ill post a pic of what I did on this post hopefully. Also in news I hopefully see the doctor on Australia Day which means then I can ask for more leave just I need to be good and not be a psycho or mentally ill fuckstick anyway i'll post a pic of my drawing it is really a sequel to the one i painted at Heath's / at the Armstrong's back in 2005 or 2006 dont think it was 2007 anyway like ten years ago i painted the first one now ten years later i did the second one for the series similar setting just bit different tho eventually i should post the first one i did anyway till then here is the second of them of the tree and spirit character now in different form it didn't take me too long to do about half an hour tho yeah hope u like it!!

Post 22

Here is the next post the catch 22

I am @ 22 since the 26th of DECEMBER 2015

So defense highways 22 & 26 still have correlation and coincidence divine plan!

Kim was too tired to see me this morning which I felt was upsetting though I dealt with it fine, just hope she's good to see me at the 1230 break I got a missed call from Taylor the other day and it only showed up on my phone yesterday when I turned it on I wonder if she will talk to me today if I call her?

In other news nothing much is going on at SECU they are going on a walking trip to Lysterfield Lake and I can not be fucked going on the outing, it is too close to home and I will want to abscond.. . 

What else, Catch 22, well it was KT like I thought, though I thought it was going to be actual Katie, whom was my first though it was an initialed KT in fact KVT. Anyway shouldn't express my personal life here on a personal journal blog should I?

I'll finish it there with an ehhh ketchyahszz

DANDE   

Post 21 - Raps&Rhymes2016

Here is the entire 40 poems I wrote whilst in SECU, Dandenong, VIC 3175


Rhymes done around 12th to 15th of January 2016 by Daniel T Dawson
====
i
Here @ Kimberley's
Trying not to be to girly's
Whirling around spinning top dont stop
About to drop some hiphop
from the dripping on the ink
Needing rhymes to think
Needing her to sink in
Between Skin thin lips
mint tits her slit just a bit
No shit this is what I rit
What I wrote don't quote me
I want her on my family tree
====
ii
Me & her
Together is fun
even under a scorching sun
rhymes from this one are plentiful
staying out of the heat is sensible
Trying to stay cool & not sweat too much
Tho its still hot & I get as such
To touch her body is so good
thank God she's in my neighbourhood
I should write more rhymes
Here is creativeful looking at her she's beautiful
====
iii
Here I am at Kim's
Trying to write Hymns
Singing a song thought is too wrong
been so long since I've had a bong
Tryina sing the song correct
Gotta kept writting to make it perfect
Erect in her womb
is the best room best place to be
Come sit with me & form a
family. Kim is no sin I love her lots
Just hope my love she not forgots
====
iv
Trying to find myself
living in Secu with ill mental health
The Commonwealth don't value me
maybe because people are affraid to see
Glory prepared for I can't ignore
whats on the other side of the door
whats on the outside
why must I hide been locked up
against my will still
I feel alive when I have leave
when I leave this place I feel ace
set the pace I'm part of the rat race
disgraceful is this place called SECU
====
v
Trying to find myself whilst I'm locked up in SECU
This is to who ever wants to read my paranoid
skitzoid diary daily dairy and green fairy what
am I waiting for a little piece of clue on the
floor who am I dateing it is no whore the
door just got open I'm hopeing for a chance
to escape tho where ever I go its on tape
I'll rape not a soul or a body ever so
why do they keeo me locked against my
will why are they holding me against
my will still
Kill em all no otherwise I'll fall!
====

vi
Poetry from inisde the cell unit
onto it I spit shit threw my lips
drips drop hiphop non stop
I can't flop or fold I'm too old
for the kids that are sold
the cold is a monster crept in darkness
it start this feeling anxiety when it hits me
I turn into a baby about to cry tears
out my eye my eyes relise this is no
joke I must return to the smoke
I spoke the word now I just need my bird
she heard this before in a song oh what went
wrong how long must I be here is a fear
====
vii
I want to free myself of evil
reconnect with people that is equal
that are here for the sequel
How do I convince the people
I have a plan a course of action
a new religion a breaking threw the
translation
My situation not changing only stranger
I'm locked ina major right stripping facility
Not too many take pity not in this city
On my circumstance not a chance I dance
not a place to go when I am evil
====
viii
Hello to the world
I am suffering
feel like I'm a suffercate
A real deviate
Divide the answer
Divine is the master
A waste of time my rhymes
Until they line up to the cup to be
filled I spilled the glass
time pass shake that ass
No grasp Just gased gasp!
This rap maybe crap tho I designed it so.
====
ix
Trying to write a poem
thats oweing
its going like this
near a kiss tho missed
Cause of Dawson Daniel the boy to not
annoy for he hasnt deployed the coye
The Co-y in the passt all moving to fast
Have to ask dark arch make my
mark.
I have a past too regretful
to forget full most of it shit
the bits I keep make me weep
tears seap threw my skin.
====
x
All these things in my mind
I can't rewind to remind my mind
designed to divide divine light
whats right whats left I guess
this is a test to see me at my
best or worst or in between
You know what I mean maybe
you don't maybe I wont explain
my pain & the stains on the
seat my beat my feet the
street eat and its sweet
Complete
====
xi
Here I am wishing for no boredom
that dominates my life whilst in strife
here in the almost nice place SECU
what to do? do I have a clue? who?
who am ment to see? proberbly should
go patrol the neighbourhood which is a
good thing to do if I can't sing a song
Can't have a bong or things may go wrong
Where Do I belong I'm not that strong
How long must I wait I can't
contemplate my fate my destiny
will bring out the best of me
====
xii
What can I do?
I hate the word poo its disgusting
terrible not sensible at all
fall plop stop please it is disease
rotten disgusting crap why put it
in the rap now it can't map out
shat out its about the grossist
shit ever I need to hygiene up my
mind to rewind and remind is not a
good Idea make it clear crystal clean
pipes are a delight show some insight
====
xiii
What to write
Under the Umbrella
Acapella McPropella
Stella Constelation sitituation
No disgraceing just raceing to get
more down on the paper from
the cloud I'm proud to be in the
shroud not too loud to make
the baby wake don't mistake me
for a fake I'll break it in two
what to do when I want to write
Still no vision no goddamn insight
====
xiv
How can I express this feeling in my
chest the best of me may
have the reciepe gogo Gusipee
Italiano words when learning piano
how far to go I do not know Slow it
down cut smaller trees mankind's
still spreading its disease ease into
keep to who you knew going to the zoo
it is what I find just giving some fragments
from my mind rewind & remind my
mind put it down do it next thyme
====
xv
Here a SECU
What to do?
Haven't got a clue?
You could do something new
There is a few fuses to be lit
To blast this shit! spit
Fitbit chip slip it in the split skin
fit it in begins the damned world
beginning in a world that wont stop
sinning I'm ot grinning yet this
is all needing to forget be forgotten
for my minds rotten. Blood now be clotting
====
xvi
Jotting Down Words
to describe a me
A one I want to create a baby
MayBe not yet wait and see
what is destruction of me Dand
Maybe its the frozen chips maybe
its the chats on her lips dipping in
her skin may begin tho it not sin
unless herowin hero's win hero's
fall zero's swim zeros on the ball
got to answer the call need to ring Paul
Here it is the answer to your prayers a
====
xvii
girl with you that you will share
How long till I make a mill?
Still haven't got the idea I fear
Need to make the mission well and
clear. Steer it right direction
make a connection & get a collection
keep making a new pact express to God
trying to be inspired by the Ipod
God was a man and he listen to
you just know now hes not and is
in all animals at the zoo a
clue dan daws I think it was
====
xviii
Now Just because I think I was
Steer the ship in the right direct
set the movement the purpose (perfect/correct)
Two set paths all one the same
burning a flame & my name
why I came & Why I come
Don't be a homeless bum & beg
for cash do some sales and store
a stash hopefully you will see
what I mean in this dream
me a fien scribble out don't
slash keep it amount counting the coin join it up
====
xix
Hey Hey Here I am
this is in brown coz it is shit
this bits bytes not liked by
those wearing clothes close
By the way stay on course Dan
Daws for this is awesome from
you Dawson some think to
keep I think Hopefully
You fully take care of these
scripts when youre on trips!
====
xx
The Last Page
to express my Pain
no fame yet another cigarette
break broken haven't spoken
since the start of the day
because she has hit the hay
Latter today you may see her
Hopefully you two (us two) stay
together forever just never
doubt her love or the dove
will be shit down by fear
tear tears wept skin crept in
====
xxi
These Rhymes are coming from a wishing
well
I'll bring you swell times
I chant & rant & rave best behave
have street saint acquaint with
these wishes you missus she's
delicious time will change all
things strings are attached
its a batch of goodness heaps
like nessy the loch ness monster
I want ta bring us back together
where are you Kimberley T.
====
xxii
Here in blood colour
I'm due for another hour or so
where to go needle in between
the toes watch as it goes
green know what I mean
Fell down a wishing well
Come back to give you hell
What I tell what I propell
This smells it stinks I think
It's a crap rap I give you
that. Sounds Chat
====
xxiii
I'm gonna sweep and delete
I need more cash for sure
need more money to fund
my score. devenshire teas
will please straight from source
she's on her knees begging please
show these cards its hard on shard
which way to go I don't know
how it go how it went what girl
I ment to be doing sewing
sowing sow the seed bleed |
blood into & knead
====
xxiv
How do I describe
life behind my eyes
the franschise name brand
dan slapped on a can
Follow the sheep in a heap
cheap leak out what
I need to do residue
clues given when I was
living giving one insanity
remote proxy my mind mined
for information situation changeing
====
xxv
this is the song
don't write it wrong
have a bong have a cone
get stoned once on weed
they you need it forever
never gonna quit the shit
because the fires lit in the pit of my
chest the best of me reciepe includes
rooms full of smoke no joke what I
spoke I awoke the dragon no bragging
ball sagging no lagging me out hope & don't
amount to counting coin join it up waz
up supacup enup enuph its the stuff
Not too tough not too hard a bastard on
shard getting too close good clothes are
on singing a song wrong truth be she
a sleepy wombman with no man but you
at her side no sewerslide ring her up for
a ride time to survive live the life
think twice shes nice not over priced...
I drive in the future my forward time
drive threw slime the world could be mine
The time is nearly right just get on the
Computer and type. type lots not forgotten ten
====
xxvi
Here I am Dan a holy man
Standing by my religion
the asian influence
The tense back up keep it cool
I'm a fool playing by rules using
Tool as a mentor for my world
war with the skys the heavens
that be up there they share in
the care that I have halve
here it goes her you are lucy
lucifer morning star run far
Venus a pentagram in the sky
the reason I fly & live life
====
xxvii
live life like lice live life like
Here is an above creation of mine
in time it will be appriecated
Just Now People take it as a Joke
When spoke it awoke awakes the
monkey the one key I need to open
the box which can be locked no
mocking fill my stocking with
treats to eat I want to go out
on the street to eat some meat
a mexicana pizza sounds good
I should get one for ten dollars
holla back yo'll will she won't she?
====
xxviii
listening to getting away with
murder
I shoulda thought more clearly
Don't fear me! I'm your destiny
I rise is coming up filled cups
Whats up? pup puppy & pussy I
like to lick vagina look behind ya
the fear inside I can not let
it rise or I'll be deprized
Pinned down a unfunny clown
scary thing I think I fink the
tattoo ink sinked into my skin
Only 12 mins left to get leave
would you believe
====
xxix
This is the last page in red
I said with the music off
A coff could be heard though Not a
mile away a short delay I feel this
dismay I need a reallay relay replay
sonar radar I feel someone near the
girl I love the one thats now awake
I want not my heart to break so
I'll get the steak and go & take her
out amongst all the shouting noise
she likes boys there is no doubt in that
no stomach fat or not a bitch thats
chat just look back in time
knowing that girl is mine
evenif I do seperate with her
is always great I just hope no
one slips threw the gate & that
it is served on a plate I hate
disgrace and the impossible
====
xxx
I have only 7 minutes left so
I guess I'll be quick lick the
fingers that no touched an a
hole.
Control is what I need i want to have
some weed maybe I hope its not greed
This feed is straight from my mind
Rewind and Remind my Mind my
time is nearly here just
have no fear steer it in the
right near the light get
yourself out of darkness
This is nnot the best it is
far from my goodest.
====
xxxi
Here I am writting a song while
listening to a recording of a song
on the radio here we go drop
hip hop it never stop never forgot
never forgetting you and what you
do what yourve done for me I hope
we stay together Kim you are not
sin you are a win making me grin
smile this is a freestyle that took
a while to compile every word a
tile to lay out on the paper
putting the ink down from the
pen & this is when
====
xxxii
I reap what I've sowed a tree
that could of growed could of
grown my ground makes a sound
under the mountain top top
of the trees in the canopys
all these trees diseased if
you want to know here it go
another flow from the jelly
bean the dream feam Kim
I win I won me one some
incriminadating writting dateing
back 12 years or so so here I go
with the new school flow
====
xxxiii
Here I go with another flow
what as it grow very slow
to the tempo of the song
where did I go wrong the
song needs to be written
as I'm sitting not sipping on
anything alcoholic L coves are
electronic electric humans
we are all consumeing now
I'm fumeing that I lost my
mate back when other girls
I did date it is not too late
The next break will awaken
====
xxxiv
Here I am
Only little Dan
A man only 173cm high
A guy with blue in his eyes
You need to relise I ain't what
You think tho yes my be oh might
stink though the link is important
In the courting of my eagle bird my
hawk my lady of the pitch fork
Here I go with another flow to
show you all I know and where
I'll go to the far reaches of the
stars further away then flying
space cars. Here on the earth my
body may lay tho so far away
in space you say? Delay
say something better something
clever no whatever
====
xxxv
Here I am
Cornerstone
at the corner stoned
in the future gnomed
need to create a picture to form
To make normal girl like
the song you go wrong you
loose the throng as well as
one of your thongs The song
goes a bit slow and then drop
it quickens so to it your sticking
Here we go in the red car
far to the star PC at MooRooPNA
====
xxxvi
Trust in Me
& then you will see
Glory the definition
The mission
The movement
The purpose is precision
Your mission should be clear
You need to remove all fear
from your mind from your body
Rewind Remind Your Mind
Your Body Anybody listening
will be pissing their pants
Cause of the significance
====
xxxvii
Hold Up
late one day is a place not too far away
from your neighbourhood
Good.
Good Goods are needed
So we jump in the car
Destination a Star the
starting point is here.
Make This Clear I am the
Fear in your Ear I will
steer you to where she
will be eventually.
====
xxxviii
Start Here.
Jump in the car
Start to drive
to survive I need five
dollars to get to the place
to grow if you know why
do you owe me only no
dictionfairy airy ehhh e
Dande trust in me 1
2,3,4 no more five
live life no knives just
nine lives heres nive
====
xxxix
Nive Nine
Live Line
This is a feed from my mate
of past to drugged up to last
the cast system to those
listening. Dan you are a
full on prick. ok 2 may
2 many I wanted the
song from beyond the
bong sorry if I was
wrong we all belong
where we are a STAR
====
xxxx
This is the last page
Don't agregate me my ill
disease please get a grip
next time you trip & don't
quit it end in a fit splitting
skin the herowin you can't
snort Dorce the force
Of the song is not wrong
it is right and makes
you write to the speed
we need to succeed
proceed level 1 complete
Now Go Type all these up Word for Word
====

POST 20 - TIME CONFIGURATION / TIME DIFFERENCE STATEMENT

Post 20


Just wanted to state that the times posted on this blog are a bit out due to round the world scope, it is really 19hours behind the time I actually write the posts here in Australia Melbourne it will say the post is written 19hours behind the actual time I write them here in Melbourne Australia so when it says 14:58 (2:58pm) it is really been posted at 9:58am the next day, so they are all behind by 19 hours the dates the posts are posted are 19 hours in the future, just thought I'd add that to the blog for your information.


Anyways,


ehhh ketchyah!

DANDE

Post 19

Post 19

Here I am in SECU and I am already back from ciggy break I haven't many ciggies left so it is crucial I make some coin soon, I have been thinking of selling cans of coke and tailors 1 of each for $2.00 I am thinking it will work if it is in volume like 10ppl, four times a day, all paying $2 each break for a can and a tailor the profit is only 31c on the tailor and 33c on the can tho it gives 64c profit each person, well each $2.00. Maybe I need to revise my business plan though I think I can make a profit!

I need to think more strategy I need to see victory before I battle it out on the street. I need to win before the market is entered.

If you are reading this blog may you add a comment on the end of the post so that I have the names identities of people interested in purchasing cold cans of coke for a dollar each just I need to know your name and area where you live, hopefully I am reaching Melbourne readers though it would be interesting to see who actually comments and would support my hustling business, my swag so to put it.. .  

Please Comment Regardless of where you live though state where it is you are based so I can develop a Market Evaluation. Thank you for your support and readership you people out there!!

Anyway I'll finish up this post with another ehhhh ketchyahszz glad to have metchyahs and those I haven't met Ima gonna getchyah one day hopefully!!!

EHHH KETCH!!!!

FROM

         DANDE  

 

9:54AM

16TH/JAN/2016 

Post 18

Post 18

Here I am up at night because I cant sleep for I think its a new moon and a new phase is starting. I hope its a good one and there is good works in the making I'll have to wait and see. Time is on my side though I need to get to bed though I feel there is more for me to do. The new moon is new cycle so more of new happenings.. . I wonder whats around the corner I hope me and Kim hit it off!!!! I like her alot could say I love her or live for her, she is my main look forward too now that Sarah disbanded the cause... I hope Sarah has a good life without me and I hope she is accepting of Kim my new girlfriend... Life and time will only tell, I should upload my 40 poems that I wrote the past few days.. they are raw data though there is some meaning to them. I could add a link to the file or have an email request button there are xxxx like the generations from abraham to jesus christ i - xxxx all numbered. funny that anyway ill finish with an ehh ketchyah hope u setthe movement in motion abrakadabra
alikazam
a i dislikes ham
jss just some scam
scammed Dan so many humans!!

Listen to this song on youtube - Epic Dubstep Mix #3

It is good I like it still !!!!!

ehhh ketchyahszz
from DANDE

Post 17 - Thinking A Shed !!!!!!!!

Post 17

Here I am thinking about getting a shed for my parents place so I can store all my belongings in it. It would only cost around half a grand to purchase just would have to lay foundations and get it fixed to the ground so it does not collapse. I hope my Dad will agree to it being constructed, I need his permission first before I purchase anything from Masters or off eBay or from Bunnings or Mitre10. I want to get one soon so I can put my belongings in it and have them safely secured. I need to go threw all my stuff and put all the electronic stuff in one container to take up to Paul's so I can build a robot or appliance that hasn't been made yet. I like to reuse and recycle stuff it is in my nature. I am a Cancerian Horder, so I horde and I am sensitive to people pillaging or removing my belongings, I suffer Financial Violence on the regular! It depresses me the throwing out of my stuff others consider junk/trash/rubbish/waste/etc... I hope my parents read this and decide nhot to throw out any of my belongings I throw rubbish out and there is no real rubbish in my room ever everything has a use and a purpose for being in there and they have no rite to throw out my stuff because I treasure the stuff they call rubbish/trash, I mean for fucks sake, it is not like I was keeping faeces in bags was I, though the thought crossed my mind when I had cats, just joking!!!! Anyway I am still needing to consolidate my belongings and get them all organized ready for sale soon with Kimberley's help via the internet or via a market stall either ither it will need more consideration and capital to make it happen!!!!

Life it is sweet though at the same time it can be sooo shit!!

I hope the reader is entertained with my posts whilst I am free of drugs and only on the V and cigarettes which I can not smoke between 6pm and 9am in the morning so I do exactly 15 hours of smoke free time each day which you would think makes me cut down though it just makes me chafe down ciggies even more so because I can not have one when I need one so the practice is bullshit!!!!

SECU is a psych facility which I am presently rehabbing in and I want to get out of here asap though I can't until either the tribunal or a psychiatrist releases me into the real world either free of restraint or release on conditions such as being on a CTO (A Community Treatment Order) which just means I have to be medicated still and have to attend Psych Appointments setup by my treating team... FUCK I HATE YOU JAZ U BITCH! I had to yell that out for she is the reason I am stuck in this rehab psych facility with no knowing of how long I have to go staying here or ability to spend nights with my new girlfriend, that is literally the only plus for being here in such a place is that I met my new girlfriend out on the street one of my LEAVES yes I didn't met here in the facility I met her outside in her local neighbourhood. I can not wait till I am discharged though I feel they will keep me in here for as long as they can so I could be here till my 29th Birthday in June on the 23rd when the next tribunal hearing is.... I fucking hate this place, it is not too bad the people are all ok just the setup of being locked in for 15 hours of the day and also for the other 9 hours I only have half an hour breaks every 3 hours of detainment. It is absolute bullshit!!!! Lucky I have the two x one hour leaves a week to allow me to get out more frequent.. Though its not allowed everyday which I find is bullshit! The only thing that is good about the program is really the fitness group lead by Jude, a nice Sri Lankian that motivates me to do the gym and go out on walking group around the block which the route varies each time so it is not too boring. And also I would say that the Psychologist meeting are not too bad they are alright though still it is making me stay here longer if I do not prose myself proper. Also I would give some credit of an alright time to Recardo, Taylor and Jessica for being helpful with outings such as the movies ONCE and for undergoing the Money Matters Group. A thank you to all the staff here all which are good 90% of the time that 10% is when they take their job too seriously and detriment my fun times such as leave, it is good when they let me out for daily leaves as it makes my day go better and I feel not so much a prisoner and inmate to a facility of government persecution on us nuJJ3Ws us unW3LLs aka mentally ill patients, Fuck I Hate You Jaz for setting this up I fucking hate your guts and am going to kill all your flowers NO FLOWERS for JAZ not yet anyway I want someone to key her private car or do something that teaches her a lesson on interfering with ones life, the only way I will forgive you is if this is a shorten then expected stay and I am free of imprisonment and incarceration!!!! I do not usually hate anyone though my old case manger fuck was a bitch she had square toes as well so she by Rolh Dalhs definition was a true witch. Just consider yourself your lucky as I did met my new girlfriend because of this stay in lockup, just it is shit because I can not be with her 24/7 which maybe my girlfriend wouldn't want anyway, maybe not so though it at least gives her space to do her own shit and live her own life free of me.. . I want to end this rant with a solid ehhh ketchyahs glad I metchyahsz - Kim, Kimberley and all the inmates at SECU and nurses and doctors I've met here at SECU you are not all that bad and I hope I learn more about myself by living in this fucked up scenario... .

Anyway gtg ill finish the rant here.\

Ehh Ketchyahszz

DANDE    

Post 16 - A New Year 2016

Post 16

Here I am writing a new post on my new self new blog thing, titling it A New Year 2016 only because the correlation of the two 16's. Anyway here I am writing and I am about to go back out for another smokeo at 530pm till 6pm I hope it is a good break and I get to see my girlfriend Kim, Kimberley the wonderful and smart. She has an IQ higher than myself which is 131 and to compliment she has an extensive knowledge base on a range of topics from literature to general knowledge and far reaching subjects like conspiracies and what I call The National Plan which I think she knows about though maybe it is only me who understands such topic as I made it up the titling of it anyway just means conspiracy theories amalgamated. A subject none should bother with as it destroys all hope and dreams of living a free from fear or harm or hurt, it basically is about us as humans are all going to be chipped and have the mark of the beast the system dwelling in our skins in our hands and in our heads it is a bad fate for those babies that are to exist, the computer chipping of the youth it has already begun with PayWave and FitBit soon there will be the FitBitCHIP to go in your body's FitBitSlit which the Chip Slips in, under the skin.. CRAZY I KNOW! Anyway I hope you the reader has a good day and an eventful life free of the human implants and that you are also FREE FROM FEAR = another wordplay I created!

I hope this blog is a daily reading for you all out there as I am trying my best to post enough up to build up content of the website I will link it to the other sites I create, maybe, it is still in speculation. Enough said I should retire today by committing myself to do a daily diary post on this blog for my readers out there in the world of earth my heart or something like that more Word$gaMe$... .

I will finish this up with another ehhhhh ketchyah glad I metchyah though for those I haven't met yet well don't worry because I'ma gonna getchyah someday soon hopefully!!

Ehhh Ketchyahszzz

FROM
DANDE   

Post 15

Post 15

Here I am doing another mobile phone post.

Life isn't too bad it is shit being locked in SECU though it is good I am close to where Kim lives makes things easier though SECU is still shit az.

I am listening to DJ Snake ft. Bipolar - Sunshine or is it called middle I do not know!

I hope today is a good day free of fear that makes me pinned, I hate the anxiety killer (fear overkoad) though I like the Anxiety Killer (zyprexa/and Love true love from a girl). Life is fucked when fear overpowers me it cripples me literally, I find it hard to move anywhere or to do anything, fuck i hate fear!

I like these games that u can play with words like this one...

+Hi$
$Hi+

and

Wi+H
Wi$H
Wi+H
Wi$H
Wi+$
iM i+
Bi+$

etc

and

WH0
H0W

that is anuf from me today so far...  .

I hope everyone has a safe holiday and lives life to the fullest!!!!

ehhh ketchyahszz

DANDE

Post 14

Here I am with Kim and she is showing me how to customize website blogs, it is very tedious and hard to concentrate on doing it correctly. I have bought some things off eBay and are willing to sell them soon. I wonder what is going to happen over the next few days as the moon consolidates and then is a full moon near Australia Day. I hope I am on leave with Kimberley then though I doubt my timing will be good for the psychiatrist is away till such day.  

Kim wants to go and I guess I have to be ok with that because I do not want to be a boyfriend that controls his missus just it affects me because it does.

Averideci 

Ehh ketchyahsszzz

Post 13

Here I am with Kimberley and were doing blogs and illustrator a program Kim spent too much money on and I think is a waste of money. I am likeing chilling with Kim a lot and hope she stays in my life for as long as possible. I wonder where life will take us, maybe to Seychelles though I doubt I'd ever go on a plane..

What to write about? I have had a alright day and it is good that Kim has come into the hospital even though she fears she'll get sucked back in to the psych system. I hope for her sake she doesn't, I don't see her getting taken back into the ward though because she seams fine to me as long as she doesn;t have her wacky laugh resonate threw the ward!! (Jokes!)

She is about to show me adobe illustrator a program costing $19.99 per month which I think unless we come up with some good designs is a waste of cash.

We are doing some work with treasure chest images. It seems to be a useful program just need a lot of time and skill using it to its full potential.

I am going to wind up there for this post though I should be back by the end of the day or at the start of next week the week coming up starting tomorrow. So till thenh averideci ehhh ketchyahsszzzz

Post 12

Finally back in SECU, fuck I hate this place it is so boring and like a prison. I do not know how much longer I am here for it should not be too much longer though it will be a few months yet I think. I hope I get out of here soon. I want to go home and live there not here. I saw Kim this morning and it was good, I got a V from Coles and went to Oasis carpark and listened to the radio and gave Kim some kisses. I just had Recardo the worker come in and ask me if I wanted to go to some of the activities though I couldn't be fucked really I want to see Kim more than what is offered. I hope I am out of here soon. I do not want to be here at all. I have been off the gear for over a month now and still going without it, if I stay here much longer I will want to use again because it was only to get off the gear not control my life! How can I explain my pain?! This place is the same and prizane. Rhyme Game... fuck this is lame.. . I am going insane!!!!

Post 11

Post 10

Here I am posting my first post from my phone, I haven't much to write just trialling it out to see if it works good. I go on leave tomorrow at 11am and also on a tangent I am thinking of buying a church in the middle of nowhere should be good hopefully it happens for me... Anyway I am missing Kim I wish she would call me soon maybe I will give her a call... Anyway peace out, signing out now!

Dande

Post 10

I just had some of the new medication 40mg of lorazadone I think is it's name, feel like a key jun on a shit biky. Anyway what to feel how does it feel hard to describe... I miss Kim and I miss having someone to talk too. Supper Time guess I better go I want to have some cola and ice. I gtg people are waititng on me and my cola the 75c one from coles wicked!!!!

Anyway ehhh ketchyahszzz!

DANDE

Post 9

Here I am at SECU, I just got back from chilling at my new girlfriends house and I was talking to her dad about woodworking, he was showing me a product guide of all the machinery and tools that are for sale in the catalogue, they are very expensive though I guess they would, if in the right hands, could make wonderful wood products or things. I was asking him if he could make a treasure chest and he said he hasn't attempted to make one yet so I am thinking of drawing up some plans and giving them to him so he could make one or two for my treasures I have. Kim was good this morning she was going to make me coffee though I had a V instead. I also bought them milk from the milkbar wasn't too much of a price to pay to get brownie points with their family. I also got back just in time for morning meeting and got my name down for the groups for the day. I keep being late in from morning smokeo only because I go to Kim's house and chill there and not leave till its time to go inside. I need to ask for extended leave and hopefully I am granted it because I love spending time with Kim she is the girl I have been needing in my life. I love her if it is possible to say such things after so short of a time knowing her. I love spending my time with her anyway.

I hope today is good I have gym soon at 10am and that will be tiring though I have to do it to get fit or fitter. I hope I can do the treadmill and maybe the bike for the time I just want to make the time fly by so I can meet back up with my honey Kim.

I have to be at this SECU for a while it is a rehab in a way though it is just like hospital I have been on the new meds now for two doses (two morning doses) I have had to take a half pill both this morning and yesterday morning. I hope it works well with me and my thinking.

I might wind it up there though today should be a good day I am thinking of going to office works with Kim on my break hopefully we make it there and back in time.

Anyway that is all for now I will write more later on in this diary journal from the inside a Psych Ward Facility aka SECU (Secured Extended Care Unit)

ehhhh ketchyahszzz

Dan D

Post 8

Here is a French song you all should listen to on youtube it is pretty cool can not translate it though it sounds good when it gets into it, the artist and song name are as follows:

Keny Arkana - Cinquieme Soleil

Check it out listen to it all!!!!

It is a song that my girlfriend introduced me too, I think it sounds pretty cool!!!!! ehhh ketchyahszzz!

Post 7

This is a better public relations post regarding my girlfriend KVT. I want to state she is a good person and honorable to her word and she is to be believed in that she will reach her goals and attain recognition for her works and ideas that she has nice enough to have let me in on. I want to say even though I feared that she was disloyal I want to take that back for it borderlines with slander and she deserves more respect. I am sorry Kim I didn't mean to disappoint you writing this blog I wanted you to be happy or at least informed about my feelings and thoughts. For all I know it is just my paranoia though its just you are so sexy it seems impossible that other men won't find you attractive. I hope I have made the right decision in being your partner and that we are good for each other just I want to rid myself of all doubt because you are a lovely wombman and you are a great friend of mine that has quadfolded my recovery rate and prevented me from relapse even though some would argue you may cause a relapse. I believe you are a positive influence on me and that without I would find the days mundane and boring as, thank you for making the time to see me on basically all my breaks/ smokeo's, I really appriecate your efforts you have made to be my girlfriend I am a very lucky man to have a lady like you at my side. I am sorry for the past thoughts of adultery and fear of cheating on me, in all honesty it is not my business who you develop inimate relationships with even though I would like to know, in reality it is ultimately up to you and you will fill me in if there was anything to worry about. I am sorry if the past posts seemed to put you in a bad light that was not my intention. I was just expressing my concerns of our new relationship that is still in its formative stage. I hope this post makes you feel better and I hope that you accept my apology in that you are a gift from GOD and nothing lesser....

I love spending time with you Kim and ever since Sarah left me in August 2015 I am glad that I have been lucky enough to spend time with such a wonderful lady girl wombman...

ily Kimberley

love from Dan Dawson

Post 6

I got a call from my ex today saying how money had been taken out of her account and that she didn't authorize the transaction so in other words she thought she was hacked. I explained to her it will be due to the personal loan she took out when she was low on funds and wanted to buy a new car after the fact she still owed me more than the new car is worth. And also sold the car I bought with my money so I go ripped bad. Anyway I just wanted to say if someone asks for my advice or help and I clearly define what needs to be done fucken do it don't winge that your broke and can not afford anything because you can and you are able to set your finances under control just may take a sitchuational change needing to be made. New cars what a waste of money!

I owed by so many people it is unfunny. They all have dishonoured their debts except a small handful. I just hope my ex pulls her head in and listens to me on what to do next to save her circumstances.

Also my current girlfriend well I am pretty sure shes my girlfriend even tho shes spending time getting on the shit and chilling with another guy, which makes me uncomphortable though there is nothing I can do about it except pray she will be there for me when I need her.

Girls why do you pluck my heart strings and make me distressed?!

Post 5


Here I am at SECU in the computer labs writing about what has been happening so far and that is that they the mental health service have put me on a new medication called Lurazadone or something to that spelling. I felt a bit weird afterwards after taking it only a half tablet tho it was in the morning and I bet now I have to take interval medications morning, afternoon and night. It is bullshit, why do I have to have a medication for being a person with different opinions. I guess I just have to go with it and see if it actually helps me instead of making me feel like shit.


Also what has happened today is that I saw Kim in the morning just before I came back in from smoke break I want to see the doctor so I get granted hour leaves at least a few times a week. Tho I will have to wait and see. I hope I am able to get these ANZ shares at the price I have bided them at which is $27.55 each I hope I get them as it would make me feel better that I have a portfolio with 205 ANZ share which is substantial if I get a 95c dividend I will receive a total of $194.75c credited to my bank account I need a dividend of 98c to make $200.90c which is what I hope for when next dividend comes around in six months.


Kim is a wonderful girl and even though she worries me with using ice and cheating I hope she has good intentions at heart. I like her a lot and do not want to loose her over bullshit.
Kim you are a gorgeous young lady and I enjoy spending time with you, it is always fun!


What else, I have been looking on realestate.com.au and finding no properties that are worth buying within my budget of $6,111.00 which I have saved in my bank account for a FHSA ( First Home Saver Account ). I want to make something of myself and I will eventually just got to take it one day at a time. Hopefully I get to see Kim at 1230pm - 1pm break/ smokeo.
I am happy that I have got some more treasure though I need to write up a site which shows all the items I have for sale. Just need time to make it up, sorry write it up the webpage that is... .


Conclusion is that Kim is a good girl with similar aspirations and dreams like me. Just I hope the criminals she is associated with don't lead her down the wrong path. Babe I am trying to pull you out of darkness not draw you back into it!!!
Also I feel I need my parents to get solar panels built onto the roof of the house because it will save cash every electricity bill. Who cares if they look ugly they look fine and the roof wont be that damaged by them also need to set up some wind turbines so to generate electricity from them would be good. Anyway life is good somewhat and it can only get better.
Peace Out
Till next time averideci ehhh ketchyahszzz 

Here I am in SECU and I have the sense that I have fallen for a girl that won't disband her past life. I worry for her and am worried that the drug ice will get in the way of us being a good couple. I worry that she does not see that her actions of seeing other males effects me and it does she is my wish, it is just I hope I don't come second to her in choosing a pathway to success. I hope that she has my feelings at heart and does not betray me in any way. Anyway, she has seen other men whilst I have been locked up I just hope I can believe her and that she is being loyal to me and that she is not sleeping around. I just worry for she is sexy and I have a feeling is a sex maniac aka a nympho. Tho what can I do - nothing. I don't want to get in the way of her having fun and enjoying herself I just am hurt that I was not enough to be the only man in her life. I just wonder if she is telling me the truth and that she is not sleeping around tho if she is my bad luck I made a poor choice, in believing in someone that is disloyal. I hope to GOD that she is just mine and only mine tho I think I am asking too much. She has slept with countless men and at least I have counted my courtships, she is my world I just think I will loose her for not being strong in faith. I want to believe that she is honest and that she tells me the truth tho ice (shardheads) are a dangerous bunch and are not to be trusted even tho I trust that she is there for me and will always be there or here for me if I really need her help. She is one of my supports that keep me going day by day, it is just this ice use will consume her if she does not stop use now. I fear I will loose her to her using and not thinking straight as in come straight home I've already been hurt by her when she went on a joyride to visit someone in jail. So the initial damage has been done to my trust just I believe that she needs support and someone to care for her just I think if she continues to see other men then I'm going to look elsewhere for a life partner for I can not deal with the emotion that is caused when I learn that she spends time with other men. I hope that I will believe her and that I have nothing to worry about tho I see how ice affects a human and also how it renders them vulnerable to being played. Kim if you are reading this I hope you understand that I am here for you and I do love you I care about you I do not want to see you lost to the drugs eg ice the dope is manageable tho I fear you will not be there for me 100% if you are using and seeing other men/boys. I fear too much and I hope that this fear subsides tho I worry I succumb to the lies of the adultery if that is that it is taking place. I want to believe that it is not happening tho I am extremely paranoid without the fact being that you are chilling with them. I still love you Kimberley just I am scared that you will be like me and adulterate when high on gear. It is a fact you get horny when you partake in drug use I just hope you are strong willed and that you won't cheat me of a deserving wife which you are when you are straight and clean off drugs. I can not tell you what to do and I can not force you to do anything I can only hope that you will be there for me when I need you like today at 4pm tho I may be asking too much if that is not what you want to do. I pray that you find your feet girl and that you defeat the drug demons in your presence though my fear is strong and strong for reason. I just hope light can guide me and you to a pretty picture and also that of a good life. I am yours still just know I worry and and worried for you and your safety. I do not want you getting a disease or bad temperament I love you Kim and I want to be by your side. You just worry me girl a lot and only you can change your ways to stop that worry or I have to retreat which I do not want to do for time with you is pleasant and fun always and I do not want to loose you to these other men and drugs you ingest. I have fitness exercise group in 27mins so I best be winding this up though I will conclude with I love you Kim and I love all the girls that have touched my soul though I am giving my loyalties to only you Kim I will not hook up with another person whilst I am seeing you to save your heart being broken for you saved me from darkness when I got your msg. You just messaged then, I just replied saying I am doing a journal blog so I am fully honest with you Kim I hope you are the same in return I am pretty sure you are my baby just plz don't hurt me via above stated I love you Kim and I think I always will now that I have known you and been in union with you, I just scared of loosing you. Sorry if this post disinterests you though it is how I am feeling at the present time and is a direct feed of my thoughts and feelings as of this point in time.

ily ehhh ketchyahsszz    

Post 3 - 4/1/2016


Here I am back from morning coffee and V with Kimberley ( my new girlfriend ). I have little money left and am almost broke I am going to need some more supplies bought in from someone on the outside or have some debt paid back so I can purchase the supplies myself, basically I am running out of cigarettes and need to reload. I hope that someone can help me help myself and deliver what is needed. Also Kim has a lot of unpaid liabilities and debts that need consolidating so they don't get more expensive. I can help her organize her finances tho she needs to be honest about what is overdue and what is outstanding, such as eastlink etag stuff and cashies etc...
I hope I can get her out of debt and get her to start saving her money so she has some to spend on whats needed for her and so she can be my "Miss Independent". I need to get a list of everything outstanding and overdue and to be due soon or later basically a full financial breakdown of all out going monies is needed to do a successful budget. I am skilled in money matters although not that good at saving money I have only managed to save a little bit since I am now in SECU ( Secured Extended Care Unit ) which is a facility rehab for the mentally ill, the only problem is that sometimes some people end up staying here for years not just months which they first advertised the place to be. This scares me as I wonder will I ever be good enough to leave this hell hole!!


Winding it up all I can suggest the reader to do is to get a detailed list of all the money matters that are associated with thyself and make it formal presentable so that a budgeter can assess their financial position. I am available for doing such budgets for anyone who is interested in correcting their financial position. I am currently waiting on a five grand transfer to appear in my bank account so that I am able to purchase a large quantity of bank shares namely ANZ as they have dipped to a all time low and I need to snatch them up before the market recovers to its higher position. Praise GOD almighty for being so accurate in all his/her works and fatetizm, that is how accurate and precise fate / destiny pans out and lines up stuff for the individual to experience. I thank Kim for being there for me during my hospital stay and also GOD for connecting me with such a strong woman. I love you babe!


Also I have to footnote that I am also happy for my relationships I have had in the past and in particular the relationship I had with Sarah. Even though we are not together any more she still keeps in contact to touch base and see how I am going as I also see how she is. I am sorry to hear she runs into financial hardship at times though I need her to restructure her finances so that she too can be an independent person and not rely on me to bail her out all the time, she should be able to fix her life she just needs some encouragement and guidance which I can only provide somewhat. Sarah if your reading this and Kim you too if your reading this know this that I am now in union with KVT and my ex is officially SJDR both women I care about deeply though for all intents and purposes I am now "with" Kimberley.V.T... and Sarah we were an item though I have to move forward and start a new life with Kim as still you have insisted that we are not to get back together. If I didn't have a wonderful girl like Kimberley at my side at my front I would be finding this time in SECU very hard to deal with as it at times can be very lonely, thank GOD for allocating me with such wonderful females well female, KVT.


SJDR I have not forgotten you and you still are in my heart though understand I am moving on now and have to put Kim ( KVT ) first and foremost after myself as No.1
I will still be there for you Sarah anytime you call or need assistance if I am physically able to heklp I will I will not completely abandon you ok my ex O.
And to my new O, 
I adore you and am very grateful you are now in my life as it makes the days fly by and soon I'll be out of this hell hole anyway I got to go because the morning meeting is on and I must attend it, so averadeci ehhhh ketchyah glad I metchyahs both I can't wait to see you both Kim and Sarah to make sure all is well. Just I am now with Kim not Sarah so this blog can be testimony that I have officially moved on. OK I gtg I have the meeting to attend I will write more later on in the day, just I got to go right now ok ehhhhh ketchyah!